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Speaker 2
Happy Leaders Equals Happy Teams.

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Speaker 2
The benefits of happy employees are so many, but let's just start. Name them one by one. First and foremost, happy people are happy. Employees are physically healthier, which means that they don't lose work, which saves millions of dollars.

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Speaker 2
In larger organizations, they're physically healthier. And as a result of that, you have greater retention and a lot lower turnover. and I'm talking about this is all how it impacts the bottom line.

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Unknown
Welcome to start with a win where we unpack franchising, leadership and business growth. Let's go.

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Speaker 1
Have you ever wondered how happiness can be the key to unlocking your potential as a leader? Today we talk about that on start with a win. Coming to you from area 15 ventures and start with the win. Headquarters is Adam Contos with start with a win. Today we are thrilled to welcome Doctor Ilia Gorgeous, known as America's Happiness Doctor

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Speaker 1
with a PhD in psychology and bestselling author of Seven Paths to Lasting Happiness and Seven Keys to Navigating Your Crisis.

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Speaker 1
Doctor Ilia is not just a scholar, but a beacon of practical wisdom. As the president of the Happiness Center and a founding partner of the Global Institute of Thought Leadership. He's dedicated his life to helping individuals and organizations thrive through the power of happiness. Get ready to discover how happiness can transform your leadership journey. Doctor Ilia, welcome to start with a win.

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Speaker 2
Thank you for having you on your show. And let me first say thank you for your service to this country. I appreciate that.

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Speaker 1
Thank you. I love this topic. Happiness. How did you get into being a a doctor working on happiness?

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Speaker 2
Well, my background. So I was born in, you know, raised in Greece. And until I would, like, ten years old. And my family moved to Santa Monica, a lovely part of Los Angeles, right on the beach. I went to UCLA, got, you know, I ended up getting my PhD in clinical psychology. So the first half of my career, I was a clinical psychologist in private practice.

00:02:00:05 - 00:02:19:23
Speaker 2
Loved it for about 18 years. Got burned out. Honestly, towards the end, because I wasn't taking care of myself and, bowed out and then, switched over to the corporate side as an executive coach and leadership training and development. But happiness has been at my core. Adam, I kid you not since the day I was born.

00:02:20:01 - 00:02:39:19
Speaker 2
And I know this sounds like a hyperbole, but it's true. So I was born a long time ago in Athens, Greece, back in the day when, you know, there were no cameras, there were in the birthing room, there was no Facebook Live or anything like that. So the story was told me growing up, you know, my dad shows up tough Greek guy, right?

00:02:39:21 - 00:02:56:07
Speaker 2
smoking, drinking his whiskey and so on. And he comes up to this little window. There were, like, five babies, all wrapped in the same back in the day. White generic blankets. We're all look the same, right? And my dad kind of looks at the nurse kind of tough guy goes, which one is my son? And apparently at that time I had a smile on my face.

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Speaker 2
So the nurse turns to my daddy, goes, your son? He's the happy one.

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Speaker 1
Oh, wow.

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Speaker 2
So now growing up, I'm growing up. And that's the story that I'm told growing up. Well, you came out of the womb happy. You always been happy, right? All right. Which is a great, actually. So that's your personal brand. And we've all been branded, by the way, when you look back early on in our lives, every single one of us has a personal brand, even though we may not know it, it's there.

00:03:19:19 - 00:03:41:05
Speaker 2
Now, fast forward 25 years. I'm in graduate school and our professor is talking to us about the difference between nature versus nurture. Basically, what is your makeup? Is it really our genetic predisposition or is it the environment or is it both? And of course, we know the answer is both. They both contribute. So I remember like it was yesterday I had this terrible thought.

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Speaker 2
I'm like, wait a minute, what if my dad gets stuck in traffic, shows up at the same hospital, the same nurse, the same little window, asks the same question, but 15 minutes later, and at that point, you know, I have like stomach pains in my faces right now. I'm screaming my head off and the nurse starts in my there goes your son.

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Speaker 2
He's the cranky one.

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Speaker 1
Oh, yeah.

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Speaker 2
And then I'm raised in the home. It's like, well, you came out of the womb cranky, you miserable little beep. Now, although that's a kind of a funny story. What's the truth, though? And having worked with tens of thousands of people, not just in the United States, but across the globe, is that we've all been branded in. Some brands are beautiful, in positive.

00:04:20:23 - 00:04:44:21
Speaker 2
Obviously, the happiness brand is one of the best that there ever was, right? But the other ones, the creative one, the athletic one, the princess, the kind one, the loving one, and so on. Beautiful. So and we have a lot of brands that are positive, unfortunately, at home in my especially in my profession as a psychologist and having interviewed so many people, most people have had terrible brands.

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Speaker 2
And I won't go into all of them, but I will tell you them the three most common and you might say, well, who would ever say that to their kid? But believe me, the three of the most common unfavorable brands are the ugly one, the stupid one, and the fat one. Wow. And those are like, really damaging to people's self-esteem and self-worth.

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Speaker 2
So get this about ten years ago, I'm sharing this at a women's conference in North Carolina. 500 women and we. Yeah. And the point of that is, as I'm explaining it to you, do it to your audiences. If you love your brand. Count your blessings, say thank you and lean into it even more like I have. But if you don't like your brand, you as an adult now empowered you with a choice to make, which is.

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Speaker 2
I choose a different brand, right? We all have that choice in any given moment as adults. So as I'm giving this talk out of the corner of my on the left side, there's this lady in her in clearly in her 70s white hair, who stands up and starts waving her arms like this, like like in the. So the audience is looking at me.

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Speaker 2
I can't ignore her because clearly she wants some, you know, and they're looking at me. I'm looking at her. I'm like, so at some point she kind of threw me off. Actually, my target. I'm like. And her name was Leah, by the way. That's important. I'm like, yes, ma'am. And she goes, you know, after listening to you, and after 70 plus years and I've been called all three of those, plus a couple of F-bombs, that's how I grew up.

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Speaker 2
Ugly, fat, stupid, and then some. Now, at this point, it got so quiet at home, you could hear a pin drop, like, literally. And it's an awkward moment, right? The audience is looking at me and she I'm going to handle it. I'm looking at her, I understand that. What's so I'm like, you know, and I'm like, well, ma'am, what would you like your brand to be?

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Speaker 2
And she looks at me and she first of all, I don't know if I would be vulnerable enough to share those brands in front of 500 strangers. So kudos to her for being so vulnerable, right? And open and sharing that with us anyway. So good. Well, from now on, I want to be known as Princess Leia. Kind of like Star Wars.

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Speaker 2
Well, so then listen to this. So I look at her, I'm like, yes, Your Majesty, I just bowed down to her like that. And everybody cracked up in a very tense moment, became a lighthearted moment. And I went in with my dog and finish my dog. The reason why I share this with you and your audience is this.

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Speaker 2
I believe if a 70 year old woman can change her brand, then anybody else can do it. Oh yeah. So right.

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Speaker 1
Totally. Yeah. I mean, it's it's fascinating. I love the brand of happiness. I think that's just fantastic.

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Speaker 2
Well, I got lucky. I mean, I was I don't know.

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Speaker 1
You know what? We'll take it I'll take it. Yeah. But the it's it's fascinating when we think about this is how do we brand ourselves. How do we brand others. and how do we, you know, how do we impact the lives of our kids? By by doing that. I, I've heard that quite a few times that, you know, what you repeatedly say to your kids and grains within their head, and that's how they will, perform in their outcomes.

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Speaker 1
Exactly. It's it's fascinating. I want to, get into this, happiness a little deeper. How how is happiness defined by, you know, in clinically things of that nature? It's it's an emotion. Right. But there's got to be some way that defines.

00:08:01:15 - 00:08:23:05
Speaker 2
It is an emotional feeling. But I will go up since we both have three characters, I will go back to the great Greek philosopher Aristotle, who over 2500 years ago said the following is so profound. He said, happiness is the whole purpose and meaning of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. Think about what what he just said and to take it further.

00:08:23:05 - 00:08:46:07
Speaker 2
Yeah, I regardless of what country I'm speaking at when I talk about happiness, before I start my talk, I asked the audience if you were to ask any parent, regardless of nationality or ethnicity, regardless of their religious affiliation, regardless of their gender and sexual orientation, regardless of their, you know, socioeconomic status and so on. What would you like for your children?

00:08:46:09 - 00:09:01:15
Speaker 2
I just want them to be. And then I take the mic and guess what? They say happy or healthy and happy. That's it. And that's universal, right? So if we want that for our children, shouldn't we also want it for ourselves as adults?

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Speaker 1
Well, that that's a that's a great question. Because then that leads me to is happiness a choice.

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Speaker 2
Yes. And it's also a skill set. If you just leave, the happiness is a choice with an exclamation mark. And don't say anything after that. That really rubs people the wrong way. Or some people who say, well, that comes easy. That's easy for you to say because you're the happiness doctor in your brand. I like that, but the truth is, happiness is a choice.

00:09:25:11 - 00:09:44:08
Speaker 2
But it is a skill set, and if we do certain things on a consistent basis, I personally guarantee you will find a happiness in health and wellness for the rest of your life. But it takes work. For some people it comes easier like in this case, but which drives my wife crazy. Like, you know, because there's a community for her.

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Speaker 2
She's had to work on it. But if you do certain things, you'll find happiness.

00:09:48:05 - 00:10:12:00
Speaker 1
So I see a lot of business leaders that walk into the day with a, you know, a frown on their face or they're just or even if they roll out of bed on the wrong side and they're just for some reason miserable during the day. And, you know, they're they're upset or somebody's road raged, or they sat in bad traffic or they heard something on the radio that they didn't like on their way to work.

00:10:12:05 - 00:10:23:17
Speaker 1
Whatever it is, they show up unhappy. If it's a choice in a skill set, how can we first of all notice that we're unhappy and and what can we do about that?

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Speaker 2
It's funny you should bring that up about leaders. A few years ago, I wrote an article called Happy Leaders Equals Happy Teams.

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Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. Tell us about that.

00:10:32:05 - 00:10:51:13
Speaker 2
Yeah. And you know, when I started working with senior leaders, the C-suite, for the most part, about almost 20 years ago, and I would talk about it. This is before all the studies or before Harvard, before for before, you know, before all the studies. And I used to promote the idea of happy employees and engage employees in the benefits to the bottom line.

00:10:51:15 - 00:11:13:15
Speaker 2
You know what the answer used to come from the senior that hired me to actually work on their culture. They're like, you know, doctor, you're a really nice guy, but you don't know what the hell you're talking about. I pay these people to go to work. They get to work. And that's what I would get up. And I'm like, no, I don't think you understand how powerful it is to have happy employees.

00:11:13:17 - 00:11:35:16
Speaker 2
And I'm not talking about, switching junk food with an apple or a ping pong table in the back. I'm talking about happy employees. The benefits of happy employees are so many, but let's just start. Name them one by one. First and foremost, happy people are happy. Employees are physically healthier, which means that they don't lose work, which saves millions of dollars.

00:11:35:16 - 00:11:54:10
Speaker 2
In larger organizations, they're physically healthier. And as a result of that, you have greater retention and a lot lower turnover. and I'm talking about this is all how it impacts the bottom line. Think about if you have great employees that stay in the company for a long time, and there's no turnover, and how much does it cost to replace good employees?

00:11:54:12 - 00:11:56:08
Speaker 1
200 salary.

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Speaker 2
Oh, exactly.

00:11:57:11 - 00:11:58:10
Speaker 1
You know that at least.

00:11:58:10 - 00:12:20:10
Speaker 2
Yes, likely. they're better teammates. And people have said, why do you say that? That they're better teammates. This is the reason why. Because first of all, a happy employees or happy people in general practice massive self-care. That's the number one thing that they do first, which means that their own batteries are full for the most part, whether it's physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

00:12:20:15 - 00:12:37:16
Speaker 2
As a result of that, when they come to work, if my batteries are full and I see a colleague of mine who's struggling clearly and they have a cloud over their head is very easy for me to go and say, you know, Adam, how's your day going? Is there anything I can do to help you lift you up or ease your burden or whatever?

00:12:37:18 - 00:13:00:16
Speaker 2
Because they they're already full, so that's why they make better employees. If I'm empty, how am I going to help you? If I'm empty? I'm struggling just to keep my head above water. So that's what makes them better, better teammates. They're also more innovative. They're more creative. They're more productive. And all of that stuff, you put them all together, makes the company or their guys more profitable.

00:13:00:18 - 00:13:14:01
Speaker 2
It's one plus one equals two. It's so easy to explain now, but 20 years ago, man, I got a lot of opposition from senior leaders. They're like, you don't know. And I'm like, I think I do know. But you know, I don't have the data behind me.

00:13:14:03 - 00:13:43:01
Speaker 1
I think there's you know, all of these different employee engagement studies, longevity studies, things of that nature, all point back really to one thing, and that's happiness in the employees. And it's fascinating because it becomes a cultural aspect of the organization for a lot of these happy employees. And I mean, it just it's amazing. The, I did a presentation yesterday about employee engagement, and you got, you know, a third of our employees are actually engaged.

00:13:43:03 - 00:13:59:04
Speaker 1
And then we have the middle essentially 50% are disengaged. And then we have the the remainder call it 18 to 20% are highly disengaged. And the first thing you hear about engaged employees are happy. And the first thing you hear about highly disengaged employees are miserable.

00:13:59:09 - 00:14:00:22
Speaker 2
Miserable. Exactly.

00:14:01:00 - 00:14:12:19
Speaker 1
Which I think is like the extreme of unhappy. So I mean, it's fascinating. What can we as a business do to work on the happiness of our employees?

00:14:12:20 - 00:14:31:00
Speaker 2
I think it starts from the top. It's a since you and I work with senior leaders, it starts with the top. If you have a leader that comes in and says, you know, Adam or Amy, you know, fix my employees and so on, I'm going to look at you and say, are you walking the talk? Or you just wanted to come in here paying a whole bunch of money to try to fix the culture?

00:14:31:05 - 00:14:49:22
Speaker 2
Who, by the way, it looks to you and says, well, what a hypocrite or looks to you and says, wow, yes, I want to emulate my leader because they are walking the talk. So you got to start with the senior leadership first. And if you don't get buy in from them and for them to invest in themselves, you, you know, there's that.

00:14:49:22 - 00:15:18:04
Speaker 2
The higher up you go in the organizational chart, the lonelier it gets, right? And you and I work with CEOs and senior. It's lonely at the top. So oftentimes, you know they need somebody like like you and I as an executive coach a consultant. And because of my own psychology background, I wasn't the typical executive because because I brought a whole clinical psychologist for 18 years, they would really open up not just about the business, but really open up about their home life, their relationship with their spouse and so on.

00:15:18:04 - 00:15:43:04
Speaker 2
So I had a it was more like, a trusted advisor really, than an executive coach, because I had that background that's kind of unique that way. But I think it's up from the top. And I forgot to tell you one more thing. The greatest asset of happy employees is that they become your marketing because happy employees, if they like the culture that they're working in, they're going to start recruiting great talent.

00:15:43:04 - 00:16:02:12
Speaker 2
It's a you should come and work. They have friends that are looking for a job. You should come and work with us. We have a great culture. they communicate their, you know, they're engaged and so on. So they do the recruiting instead of being a recruiting company. Six figures, 2 to 5. They do themselves because they are the brand ambassadors of your of your company because they are happy.

00:16:02:12 - 00:16:04:19
Speaker 2
That's an additional benefit.

00:16:04:21 - 00:16:17:00
Speaker 1
That's fantastic. I mean, it's you know, we all know the the cost of turnover, employee churn, placement, retraining, paying other employees over time while we're missing these, these open positions, things of that nature like.

00:16:17:00 - 00:16:32:00
Speaker 2
It really effects the bottom line to a large degree. This is the you know, so hopefully have enlightened just senior executives or business owners and entrepreneur is that get that and then invest. You have to invest in your people.

00:16:32:02 - 00:16:59:02
Speaker 1
Exactly. And interestingly enough, I saw a statistic recently 51% of employees are actively looking for a new job right now. Wow. You know that 51%. No way you can save 42%. So I mean, the the difference there is just that 9% that you cannot save, but you can save all but 9% of those leaving by really trying hard culturally within the organization.

00:16:59:04 - 00:17:15:18
Speaker 1
And, you know, a lot of it has to do with recognition and appreciation. I wanted to ask you, how does recognition and appreciation, you know, that that I don't know, called an ego boost or just a thankfulness that people receive? How does that affect their happiness? Why does that impact it?

00:17:15:20 - 00:17:34:14
Speaker 2
You know, even if you, no matter who you are, it always feels good to to hear from somebody that I really appreciate you in. First of all, it doesn't cost anything that you don't need to train or spend millions of dollars on getting someone to teach you how to say thank you, I appreciate you. What is that take?

00:17:34:16 - 00:17:50:18
Speaker 2
I mean, one of the best things we can do for our own children, actually, is to use those words rather than say, oh, you're so cute or you're so smart or whatever. Say, I really appreciate how hard you work on that project. Right? So if we say that to our kids, why wouldn't we say that to our employees?

00:17:50:20 - 00:18:10:13
Speaker 2
But you have to have the mindset to be able to look and to catch people doing the right thing. A lot of them, we try and catch people doing the wrong thing. I'm like, no, focus on catching people doing the right thing and then rewarded for that and don't have like a generic reward for everybody. Get to know your people.

00:18:10:15 - 00:18:31:14
Speaker 2
That's why companies nowadays have Chief Hart officers, you know, which is beautiful actually. And they're, they're they're not H.R. They're, they're just to get to know the employees. And how do you get to know the employees? That's the other thing. Having an exit interview is too late. That is the most wasted thing ever. Exit interview. Who cares? How about right?

00:18:31:15 - 00:18:57:01
Speaker 2
Having a stay interview throughout the year, several stage reviews with your employees. And what is this? They interview you. It's informal. You take them out to lunch or dinner or brunch and you have a conversation. How's your life going at them? What's happening at home like get to know them and then get to know their spouses names. Get to know their kids, get to know their birthdays, be aware of that and really befriend them.

00:18:57:03 - 00:19:21:01
Speaker 2
You know, way. Because when you do that and the time comes where they will need some assistance and some help because they trust you and you've established a relationship, they're going to come to you. If you don't and you're their boss and your, you know, their your direct reports and you don't have that relationship established before the crisis yet, then they're not going to come to you.

00:19:21:03 - 00:19:27:10
Speaker 2
They're going to fake it, and they're going to be part of that 51% that you just described who are looking for another job.

00:19:27:11 - 00:19:52:01
Speaker 1
So let me ask you about this. You mentioned the word crisis, and I know you coauthored a book about crisis as well. how does happiness in impact crisis? How can happiness help us work through crisis? you know, we we get stuck in crisis. Sometimes we get that fight, flight or freeze the fear response. But it seems like you have to have a clear mind in order to navigate those things.

00:19:52:03 - 00:20:12:15
Speaker 2
Yeah. You know, my my, my first book, the Happiness Book, you know, the number one bestseller and so on. I wrote it from my heart and it was my life's work was brought into that. The second book came as a result of a an actual download, as I call them. I got a download. It was on March 15th of all days of 2020, like, which is March 15th.

00:20:12:15 - 00:20:18:00
Speaker 2
There's a symbolic day on, Julius Caesar. Beware the Ides of March. Right. Shakespeare.

00:20:18:02 - 00:20:20:03
Speaker 1
Yeah. Or Ovid, one or the other.

00:20:20:05 - 00:20:42:00
Speaker 2
Exactly. And the download. And honestly, it was as loud as I'm talking to you right now. So my downloads are they're always very short. There's not like some long dissertation, but the downloads area, there is going to be a mental health crisis, like a tsunami is going to sweep the world as a result of this coming pandemic. Now remember, that's March of 2020.

00:20:42:05 - 00:20:58:16
Speaker 2
So in the United States, I mean, Italy had it, China had it. New York was getting it. But really in Colorado where we live in hit here. So the message was so you need to get a book out and you need to get it out in 45 days. End quote which I let I'm like, what the heck. Like it.

00:20:58:18 - 00:21:02:21
Speaker 2
First of all, took 40 years to write. How am I going to get a book out in 45 days? But there's an urgency.

00:21:02:23 - 00:21:03:08
Speaker 1
Right?

00:21:03:10 - 00:21:10:22
Speaker 2
So I called my best friend brother kind of in writing partner Constantino supposed to love was alive or a nice Irish name.

00:21:11:00 - 00:21:14:06
Speaker 1
Right.

00:21:14:08 - 00:21:28:01
Speaker 2
and I'm like, brother, this is what the download I got it. I'm going to start working on it tomorrow. Clearly, I can't do it by myself. That's absurd. Can you help me? And you know what? He didn't miss a beat. He said, Amen. And we. I kid you not. For the next 45 days, we did nothing.

00:21:28:03 - 00:21:48:05
Speaker 2
Nothing else but write morning, noon and night and anything. And we did get the book out. The first book to market in the world about the pandemic because it was the seven keys to Navigating a crisis. How do we emotionally deal with pandemics and other challenges and disasters? And we really wrote it from for the everyday person to help what we never anticipated.

00:21:48:07 - 00:22:07:10
Speaker 2
I don't know why it never crossed our mind was that organizations specifically Bank of America in July of 20, like literally a month after the book came out in New York, mind you, a senior leader called me up and said, hey, we're in trouble. I got a thousand employees in New York City, B of eight. They're working remotely.

00:22:07:12 - 00:22:30:20
Speaker 2
New York was ground zero. That was really rough back back then. 20, 20, like people are dying, the mortgage were full and so on. And as said, they're they're depressed, they're anxious, they're stressed out. Some of them are suffering from post-traumatic stress, disorder. Some of them have lost loved ones due to Covid. Some of them have Covid themselves.

00:22:31:02 - 00:22:53:23
Speaker 2
And she said, frankly, we just don't know what to do. And I read your book and would you speak to them? I wish I could travel to New York because everything was shut down. So I did like I'm doing with you right now. Spoke to a thousand employees in New York, all remote. And it hit home. it just hit home, you know, was one of those, you know, 45 minute talk and 15 minute Q&A that afterwards she said to me, you know what?

00:22:53:23 - 00:23:12:09
Speaker 2
This is going to become available to all 200,000 employees of Bank of America because this is exactly what we needed. Which is the point is, how do you navigate life's challenges? It doesn't always have to be a crisis, but challenges while maintaining your happiness. How do you do that? And that was the premise of the in some ways of the book.

00:23:12:09 - 00:23:32:01
Speaker 2
And a lot of my, my lectures, even now, because we're not in a crisis necessarily right now, but there's certainly challenges left and right, personal and professional. Right. So we go about it. That's what I share the message. And I think definitely self-care is at the top of the list. I mean, that's a whole I do a whole self-care workshop.

00:23:32:01 - 00:23:48:17
Speaker 2
How to do that. That's number one. I think the second one is to be flexible and adaptable. Both, again, both in our personal and professional lives. And we're kind of use the analogy of the oak tree and the apple tree, or sort of the palm tree.

00:23:48:19 - 00:23:50:07
Speaker 1
Right.

00:23:50:09 - 00:24:17:05
Speaker 2
You know, so the oak tree, this beautiful, magnificent, strong, steady, 100, 200ft high, beautiful tree. I love oak trees, but oak trees, if there's enough saturation, enough rain, enough subjugation on the ground, in enough wind, what happens to oak trees? They come crashing down on people, cars, homes. This happens in every hurricane season, right? There's massive, beautiful, majestic trees.

00:24:17:07 - 00:24:35:04
Speaker 2
On the flipside, the palm trees, which are kind of exotic, you know, tropical and so on. At the peak of the storm. And I'm talking about the storms of life. Punches would literally bend almost parallel to the ground. But when the storm passes, like every storm passes in life and the side comes out, guess what happens? The boundary.

00:24:35:06 - 00:24:55:17
Speaker 2
It rises up. And not only has it survived the storm, but its roots have dug down underneath the ground. And because they were holding on for dear life, it's stronger than it was before. So the message to us as human beings is in this crisis be a palm tree, don't be an oak tree. So people have said, well, that's a cute story, Doctor Leo.

00:24:55:18 - 00:25:14:16
Speaker 2
But in reality, what is an oak tree look like in a gray? An oak tree of this is well, this is who I am. That's how I've done things for the last 30 years. I'm not going to change now. And they dig in their heels versus saying, well, that didn't work. Think about Blockbuster Video. That's one of the, you know, one question.

00:25:14:16 - 00:25:34:03
Speaker 2
When I grew up with blockbuster, I used to go there all the time. They were an oak tree because when the time came, they had to change to by Netflix. Think about this. And they didn't do it. Right. Well, okay. Well, look what happened to blockbuster. Look what happened to Netflix. So we need to be flexible and adaptable as we approach life, because if we don't, we're going to get buried in a in a crisis.

00:25:34:05 - 00:25:56:14
Speaker 2
So that's the second part. The other thing you have to do, I think with truly living life, not just with an attitude of gratitude, that's easier to do when things are going well, and we all know that. But I'm a firm believer, Adam, that we're all graduates from the University of Adversity, all of us. And the older you get, the higher the degree, because you've been on this earth long enough.

00:25:56:16 - 00:26:18:19
Speaker 2
And so the and the question really is, can you be grateful in the midst of adversity? Is that even doable? And I'm here to tell you, I believe that with all my heart that it is if we follow, you know, one of my heroes, one of my favorite statement by Nelson Mandela was, in life, either you win or you learn there's no losing win or learn.

00:26:18:21 - 00:26:38:23
Speaker 2
You and I have had some successes in life, right? We've been we've got good lives. But I'm almost positive that the greatest lessons you and I have learned did not come from our successes, but came from what at the time appeared to be our human weaknesses, our failures, you know, obstacles. When things didn't work out and was painful at the time.

00:26:38:23 - 00:26:56:17
Speaker 2
But when you look back, you can reflect and say, you know, I know exactly why that happened. I wouldn't be the man or woman that I am right now had those things that happened to me. I'm actually grateful for obviously, that grateful where you're going through it, that's tough. I mean, if you can say, what's the lesson, this in the middle of the crisis, well, good for you.

00:26:56:19 - 00:27:12:01
Speaker 2
But most of us, it takes some time to let it pass and look back. But I just learned something new this year, which I'm incorporate in my life. And it's this. That rejection is God's protection.

00:27:12:02 - 00:27:13:06
Speaker 1
Oh that's deep.

00:27:13:08 - 00:27:28:04
Speaker 2
It's you know, I find it actually the first time I heard that, I'm like, what did you just say? Like, yes, rejection is protection. And then I've had to go back and look at my life. When times are when things where you reject them say, oh my gosh, I'm so grateful that that happened at the time. It's painful because we're human beings.

00:27:28:04 - 00:27:49:23
Speaker 2
Nobody likes to be rejected. But long term I'm like, I should like go and hug that person, because if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have met my beautiful, wonderful life and had a great life with her. If if that woman hadn't rejected me, then I wouldn't have this now. No, no, it's kind of silly. But it's true, though, to think about being your life and think about when that happened right?

00:27:50:01 - 00:27:58:22
Speaker 1
Yeah. I it's it's fascinating how that works. But, you know, the, the school of hard knocks is, is a great education.

00:27:58:23 - 00:28:16:04
Speaker 2
And you can go into victim mode toward me. Why is this happened to me? Or you can go into navigation mode and say, why is this happening for me? Not to me. Because to me, you're in victim mode. But if you say, why is this happening for me? Then we kind of go back to Nelson Mandela's thing is like, okay, if it's happening for me, what's the lesson here?

00:28:16:04 - 00:28:19:11
Speaker 2
What am I supposed to learn? And when you get the lesson, man, you're golden.

00:28:19:11 - 00:28:45:20
Speaker 1
After that amazing Doctor Ely, I mean, a huge amount of gratitude for everything you've shared with us today. A lot of I took a lot of notes here. just fascinating key points. Everybody, make sure you check out Doctor Elias books. The Seven Paths to Lasting Happiness and the seven Keys to Navigating a Crisis. you know, head over to Amazon and, pick up your books there, doctor.

00:28:45:20 - 00:29:06:22
Speaker 1
Ilia, you are America's happiness. Doctor. You've given us so much information today, and we appreciate you so much for that. I'm definitely a happier person after going through this. It's it's great to remind ourselves and continue to that, you know, the recognition of of what we are grateful for. I do have a question for all of our great leaders on this show.

00:29:06:23 - 00:29:10:11
Speaker 1
Doctor Ilia, how do you start your day with a win?

00:29:10:13 - 00:29:28:15
Speaker 2
You know, my win every day, regardless if it's rain or shine. I. I go for my walk at least an hour. Walk every single day, every morning, no matter what. And 50% of the time, Adam, I don't take my if I used take my phone all the time, but I realize that I need to leave my phone behind 50% of the time, and I.

00:29:28:18 - 00:29:47:00
Speaker 2
I call it my gratitude walk. So it's not just doing 3 to 5 miles a day or whatever walking in the morning when I don't have my phone with me, I, I, I'm really present, I guess, where your phone sometimes distracts you. I'm present. And I look at the blue skies and I listen to the birds serenading me as I'm walking.

00:29:47:00 - 00:30:11:04
Speaker 2
And I look at the little rat, you know, the the wildlife and so on, and I do a walk of gratitude. By the time I come back, am I? I'm not only physically feeling better and breathing the fresh air and so on, but my state of mind. I've made enough to budget because of the gratitude. You know the best drug dealers up here, best drug dealer in the world, doesn't cost anything and gives you the best drugs, right?

00:30:11:06 - 00:30:34:14
Speaker 2
We know that you cannot be in a grateful state and depressed simultaneously physiologically, that that that you can't have that because your chemicals that are released make you happy. So when I return, my batteries are so full that them I can take on the day. And this is a non-negotiable, by the way. before the pandemic, I used to do that maybe three times a week because I had to just because I'm getting older.

00:30:34:16 - 00:30:50:09
Speaker 2
After the pandemic, as my own stress level increased to take care of my family, extended family and friends and clients and so on, I realized that soon enough and I started walking. This is April of 2020 and I haven't stopped. And now not only do I do it every day, but I do it because I want to, not because I have to.

00:30:50:09 - 00:30:59:21
Speaker 2
It's a different. And that's my that's my win every day. I'm already ahead by the time I come back seven, 8:00 in the morning, I'm already ahead for the day.

00:30:59:22 - 00:31:22:15
Speaker 1
That's amazing. Everybody go take your gratitude walk today. See what that does for you. you can appreciate, doctor, or for that, make sure you check out his website. you can just Google Doctor Ilia happiness and you'll you'll get right there. It's at the top. It's, doctor Ilia go.com, and, you can find him on, really all over the internet.

00:31:22:15 - 00:31:23:18
Speaker 1
He's got a lot of great.

00:31:23:23 - 00:31:44:04
Speaker 2
And something exciting that just recently happened. I'm getting my own TV show. Adam called the happy hour with Doctor Ilia. Oh, I saw the happy hour. That's going to be on the mental health television network. The end. 26 episodes for season one with an option for season two. And we're going to be talking about happiness and all the things you and I talked about today.

00:31:44:06 - 00:31:51:00
Speaker 2
So it should be on the air starting, September 1st. So I'm starting to record episodes right now, so.

00:31:51:03 - 00:31:56:15
Speaker 1
Well, congratulations. I look forward to to spending that happy hour with you.

00:31:56:17 - 00:32:00:22
Speaker 2
Thank you. Thank you, Adam, and thanks for having me on your show. It's been a delight.

00:32:01:00 - 00:32:06:13
Speaker 1
And it's been a delight to have you, doctor Alia, thanks for all that you do and thanks for being on start with a win.

00:32:06:15 - 00:32:07:17
Speaker 2
Thank you.